I am queer because I am different and strange.  Though I am not gay/lesbian/bisexual, I love women such as my mother, aunts, and friends who are women and men who feel women-ness.  I hesitate to call myself "straight" in the traditional sense.  I have not found/created the word which describes my self-ness.  Thus, my love, adventure and play in-between spaces (aka, mixism).   For now, Mixist is one of the forms which I have created to express my self-ness.

My queerness resides in the meaning that is different and strange.  Strange brings mysterious element.  No one said I was strange or different, though I read in the yellow gaze that made me/body feel the difference and strangeness in the visceral-conscious state of silence.  In this melding of feeling and knowing (visceral knowledge), I created a third-ness of difference, strangeness and, alas, queerness.  This queerness is mysterious (and capricious?) and my self-ness, art, project and work are most often a mystery to others.  Mystery because of the difference, strangeness and queerness of my orientation, and in this mysterious of being I revel and play, immersing myself completely.  I employ this new “take” or playfulness of difference/strangeness/queerness as a methodology for my life/art/work. 

In my own surrealist fashion, this utility of mystery brings marvelous and epistemology of difference.  For example, 1 plus 1 is 1.  Different/strange way of knowing: My mother (X1) and my father (Y1) created me (XY1).  Even though I am both X and Y, I am nevertheless not X or Y.

*Last two days, I’ve read Robert Kelly’s Dream Freedom and an article, "Antonio Gramsci on Surrealism and the Avantgarde”, and my first love of art resurfaced.


Queer: (http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=queer)

1500, "strange, peculiar, eccentric," from Scottish, perhaps from Low Ger. (Brunswick dialect) queer "oblique, off-center," related to Ger. quer "oblique, perverse, odd," from O.H.G. twerh "oblique," from PIE base *twerk- "to turn, twist, wind" (related to thwart). The verb "to spoil, ruin" is first recorded 1812. Sense of "homosexual" first recorded 1922; the noun in this sense is 1935, from the adj.